a bumpy ride

it's 3rd week o sch.
& it has bn a terribly bumpy ride for us both.
masuk je 2nd week mat kecik dh mintak ampun maaf x mau g sch.
he expected me to stay wit him thruout the day. ingat mak die kaya raya mmg ade duit kalau x keje ke???
every morning has bn very very very stressful.
impian nk ke ofis gym adalah ke laut.
i arrive @ the ofis feeling so drained, so exhausted, so mad at myself for not being able 2 calm my kid, 2 get him settled @ sch.
i do pity him, but i'm not gonna give in.
mb it's all my fault for not making him truly understand how real sch works. mb i didnt deal wit the transitional phase properly.

& tis morning around 10ish, the maid for the umpteenth time tib2 nk quit, nk balik, missing her parents. like wat the ????? & she pndai2 called my sister mengadu ntah ape. end up i was scolded by my sister for not treating her nicely. like wat the ????? rs nk sepak je! she's bn living idly for almost 3 weeks now sbb the lil one's @ sch 7am-730pm, ape sgt lah setakat umh kecik 3 bilik wit 3 occupants? she doesnt have to cook, we dont have dinner that often means she doesnt have to tidy the kitchen or the dining table or even wash the dishes. wat else does she want??? kalau majikan lain there's a high possibility that she wud be sent off to do chores @ parents' house ke sibling's house ke ape ke... but she doesnt have to do all that! & yet die mengade ade je nk create issues. God! so much money & energy & time spent to take her, legalise her & everything. penat lah. penat.

& it's only the beginning o the year...

30.12.2011

30.12.11
hari orientasi darjah 1 ahmad nani
dh besar! seronok tgk die making frens so easily
ade placement test rupenye & me being a casual mom langsung didnt prepare him
skali mat ni tulis nama pon 3/4x erased, i started to freak out a bit hahaha
nsb as they went on, all was ok
then we went to get his writing books, text books, workbooks
& to the canteen to check on the prices of food
he'll be bringing lunch box just in case susah nk Q & all. takpon takut ralit main ms recess at least ade bekal kot x sempat beli
btw, we'll be maidless soon. wit ahmad nani's new schedule, nobody's gonna be home during daytime so buat ape nk guna maid kan...
i hope we can cope, insyaAllah

*budak yg happy finally school break's over! lately asyik call mummy every hour sbb bosan dok umah.

last bit - bumped into cik hajja & lil missy @ bookstore. wat a pleasant surprise! cik hajja makin lawa lah awak.. jeles!

rolling in the deep

the lil one spent some nites wit his dad last week.
mummy balik rs lemau semacam. haha.
mlm mummy layan naruto smbil dok tunggu 0000 hours for AA's 10th years anniversary promo
smpai la tertdo.....................

but then saya berusaha ngan gigihnye the moment i opened my eyes the nxt morning.

& managed 2 get seposen one way tickets to langkawi for me & ahmad nani. yippee!

but it's not happening until august 2012.

hahahahhaha. 

& it's tentatively a week aft raya. gara2 saya hanya merefer to school holiday calendar 2012, saya terover looked akan tarikh hari raya puasa 2012!

nsb baik lepas seminggu, kot awal seminggu sila beraya di langkawi :p

dibuai ombak rindu...

if u havent watched it yet, please do. dh lama xde cite melayu yg best. i havent read the novel, not planning to. but i think it was a gud thing also lah, xde la potong dh tau ape ending.

we went on the release date. penuh cinema hall. in fact nk buat online booking pon x bleh, every single show time sume full. jln nk pegi midV pon jam x ingat!

wen i saw the snippets, i thot maya k wasnt really suitable to be the main character 'izah'. she doesnt really have that kampung girl quality. i thot she shud have swapped places wit lisa s. but then i took all that back. maya k certainly brings that 'izah' character to life. i have to agree wit my fren that maya k is really a versatile actress.

i've never bn crazee 'bt aaron a (not even aft watching ombak rindu. i'm more o adi p or the latest fascination mr johan asari @ aril in cinta elysa. heee). but still, hands down to him. his acting is sooo convincing that u just could feel the intense love towards his wife. (tp ntah ape perasaan the off screen aka real life wife tgk his on bed scene wit maya k yg berkemban... errrr...)

lisa s? never seen her in desperate character camni. at 1st she seemed a bit too young for the character. but as the story unfolded, boleh la kot she carry it.

bront palarae. ala la la la la... sweetnye mat ni punye character :) walau pon die cuma korban cinta...

tis movie has almost made me believe in love & jodoh & marriage & watever not again. s'one please shoot me dead already! :p

my post obviously doesnt do justice to the movie. go book your tix now. watch it wit your girlfrens so u can drool over aaron a togethergether. if u go wit your other half, chances are u'll have to do it covertly. hehe.

overtly or covertly, just pray u wont be sitting nxt to a couple yg lebih byk buat wayang dr tgk wayang. cinabeng aaa couple yg sat beside me tu...

ps: make sure u bring a packet o tissue. the song itself dh buat i cried buckets... huuu.

a year gone by...

... & alhamdulillah we're doing fine... & ahmad nani is as happy as other kids his age... & we're embracing life as normal as other people... & we're so grateful for all the love & care & frenship & support that we have...

alhamdulillah... at first it all seemed impossible... at first it all felt burdensome... at first it all appeared ruthless... but then... a year has gone by & we still rock! *big grin*

& alhamdulillah... my 1st mission's accomplished. ahmad nani is now ready to embark on a real schooling journey...

heartiest congratulations, darling!

thank u to the teachers of genius aulad bdr sri damansara. i know ahmad nani's had so much fun there. he's made frens wit some cool boys his age - acap, syafiq rafiq, fadlun, imran rafiz, nik hakim, juani, daniel ashraf, fariz, among the names he mentions almost everyday...

alhamdulillah, tis is such a great achievement for us, considering the waking up drama, the shower tantrums, the RM1 upah every morning, the school van chase... we could actually cope if we just enjoy the ride :)

he's gonna be 7 soon! he's gonna start real schooling soon! i'm gonna be a mom of a standard 1 kid! owh would i be like my parents who were very much involved wit PTA, school organised xtvts, fund-raising & such? heee. it's a thrill waiting to happen. insyaAllah if i have time to spare, insyaAllah ahmad nani's schooling will still come first.

meanwhile, let's enjoy tis sch holiday. nxt year yours truly will have to be more discipline in making sure dhani fill up at least 90% attendance. (owh come on! u cant possibly expect me to guarantee a 100% attendance! :p).

wat could hav been...

i could have been blogging 'bt the 2-day conference i attended earlier tis week.
i could have been writing 'bt some new, compelling HR issues i learned & discovered there.
i could have been reviewing 'bt some first-rate speakers i had the chance to see myself.

or...

i could have been sleeping at tis hour.

instead...

i've been wide awake since 2.45am. managed to sort out some office stuff but not much. managed to cook some nasi impit (it's stil on the stove. wud 12 packets be enough?).

the maid issue? mb that was why my subconscious mind got so distraught. i'm seeing the agent tonite & i seriusly do not know wat to expect. & i'm too tired to deal wit tis. watever it is, if she wants to leave, i'll let her. mb i'm not a gud employer. mb i'm too temperamental for her. mb i'm too uptight, i'm too tis, i'm too that. watever. i dont need tis.

now i need to come up wit a plan for dhani. & i need to do it fast.

back to square one.

la la la la la la la la la la la... (smurf's tune please...)

raya was ok, alhamdulillah. my 1st raya as a single mom. agak sayu tgk dhani ikut atok sdara (adik arwah bonda) that he met once a year to the mosque. but that's just him, so easily attached ngan org walau br skali jumpe. raya was the usual - adik beradik got 2gether, maaf bermaafan, had festive meals o everything fatty. we got back to kl on 3rd day o syawal coz i had a wedding to attend.

above is our raya pix. manja mat ni :)

post raya was also the usual things. beraya, open houses etc etc etc. mine will be on 16/9, sila dtg. it's not really an open house pon, just a mkn2 get2gether wit frens.

owh updating blog takes so much effort now. nothin much to ramble. mostly inappropriate to be broadcast here.

we watched smurfs wit aunt kay & jibril few nites ago. it was entertaining, funny & all but was kinda flat also. wit neil patrick harrris (the farny man barney stinson fr how i met your mother), it could hav bn legendary. but, it did not happen. stil we had a gud time. except wen the waiter @ tony roma's came telling us to control our kids sbb some customers complained 'bt the noise the kids were making! chessssssssssss...

work's bn BAU. so much pending work. & it's so boring to talk 'bt work. so i must stop here. i mean, stop talking 'bt work.

i went to clinic on monday. i had ulcer, stil have it now but it's recovering. & bcoz o tis ulcer, i havent started my puasa 6. and today, i went to clinic again. i think i've bn experiencing vertigo. but i didnt notice wen it exactly started. was it b4 raya break or aft raya break? i had my BM checked, thot i over ate red meet during raya but nothing unusual wit my BP.  the doc gave me bertaserc for 5 days consumption & if it stil prolongs, i'll have to see her again. it might hav some connection wit problem in the inner ear. there r some symptoms o vertigo - u feel spinning motion wen u are actually stationary, vomiting / nausea, ears buzzing, blur vision, sweating excessively . i'm only having the 1st one. let's hope it'll go away as i finish the bertaserc.

ok. i'm supposed to get enough rest for early push off to jb 2moro. the family is having open house & it's just appropriate that we go back. but here i am, updating tis blog that has very few readers (well, if it does hav readers at all!) while watching batman: the dark knight (i think tis is the darkest batman movie).

i shud be sleepin'. restin'. let's hope my sleep wont be interrupted. insyaAllah.